Posted on January 20, 2009 - by Jeffrey Posner
Get used to rejection
Rejection hurts 
Rejection, sweet rejection. It comes in all forms and sizes and it never feels good. Whether you’re in a meeting, on line at a busy night club or trying to meet people it is something we must all face on a regular basis. I used to have a hard time understanding what people meant when they said:
Business makes you hard
But these days I am beginning to see it more. Its all about becoming desensitized to the rejection process and treating it as nothing more than say, a flat tire. Yeah it sucks, but it happens all the time and we can just repair it and move on with our lives. Maybe it slows us down a little, but it certainly does not stop us in our all out journey.
However in this process of being desensitized, you may seem to be a colder person in general. Pros and Cons of trying to make in this world today. Sometimes I feel like I am not as warm of a person as I should be to my friends and family and it hurts me to be accused of being cold..I feel that overtime I have just desensitized myself to certain issues that may move others in different ways. I tell you, it’s a constant struggle since there are times where I am cold to issues I shouldn’t be, but I’m working on it 
Rejection is the Key to becoming successful
If you haven’t herd this before than you better hear it now. Every successful leader (in anything) knows this to be true. If you don’t fail in life then you will never know what it’s like to fail and how to overcome it. This can result in a disastrous wake up call when something does not go your way.
This is one of the biggest problems I have with the no child left behind attitude in schools. They don’t let the kids fail, therefore they don’t learn what it’s like to loose out and why the need to adjust their ways to succeed. Another great example is what they are doing with all these bank and mortgage bailouts. People got themselves in over their head financially and instead of letting it all play out the government decides to start handing out bail outs?!?!?
What ever happened to good old fashioned capitalism?
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I have been working in foreclosures and real estate for over 8 years while keeping a healthy technology background through various consulting projects.
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January 20, 2009
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Actually the problem with No Child Left Behind it that teachers are encouraged to bank students with information instead of letting students discover the answers. Discovery method vs. The banking system. Read educational theorist bell hooks and Paulo Friere for more on this topic.
Being a dancer and educator I am very familiar with rejection. Spending countless years online at cattle call auditions. Rejection has become apart of life for me.
I have heard many no’s both in my personal life and career. I never seem to let it break me. I create new ways to “get what I want”. I take from every rejection and build from it. I figure out what I did wrong and how I could make it better.
When dealing with rejection on a personal level it is very different. When you go on an audition or job interview you get a straight forward answer “you’re not the person for the job”, but when it comes to relationships people are not that straight forward. They don’t tell you “you are not the right person for this position” because they do not want to hurt your feelings. I think people need to be more honest when it comes to rejection on a personal level. It will help the person being rejected get a clear picture of what is and isn’t wanted from them.
Just some food for thought.
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January 21, 2009
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Carissa,
Thank you for your thoughts on the no child left behind example, but even with your suggested theory it still falls into not letting people fail in life. The discovery method you mention is where kids can fail, learn on their own, figure it out.
This banking system sounds like it does not allow them to fail, just fills them with info telling that’s the way it is. See what i mean?
On another note, I totally agree with your attitude on rejection.
Personal rejection is totally different than business as well. I agree people should be more honest, but relationships are touchy and sometimes we don’t even know why we reject others. Sometimes we reject someone in a personal relationship just because we feel something isn’t right, like it’s in our gut…