Posted on February 18, 2009 - by Jeffrey Posner

The Death of your Ego is the Birth of your Greatness

Leave the Ego at the Door!

People talk about egos and business all the time and there are many different angles to the subject. There are times where having an ego may help you or get you ahead in business but for the most part they seem to do more damage than good.

I can really only think of one main example where an ego can play to your advantage in business and that is when the other party you are dealing with is unsophisticated or intimated in said area of expertise. I have seen it work on a small level of play, but when it comes to playing with the big boys you better drop that ego crap at the door.

There are a few main areas I have worked on in the past to tame my ego. I mean, you don’t have to get rid of your ego altogether, you just have to learn how to tame it; like the beast it is!

Confidence vs. Cockiness

The long battle of confidence and cockiness! How do you walk the fine line? Well, I don’t really have a strategy on this. It’s just one of those things you learn by doing (a/k/a messing up). The only way to really know if you’re being cocky is usually when it’s too late, but this is when you learn your boundaries. In other words, it will help you find that fine line that you can dance.

You want to learn how to be funny and serious when needed. Just practice, practice, practice! This is one of those things that have to be felt out through experience. No one can teach you how to master your personality; you must feel it out and learn this part for yourself. Take risks and learn from your mistakes.

Body Language

Unlike the previous section, Body language is something you can learn from others and start improving immediately. Most communication is expressed through our bodies and understanding the basics of body language will help you make great strides in face to face situations.

Here is a short list of body language tips that can be used in any situation…keep in mind, these are basics.

1. When someone new approaches your meeting table or enters a room – Stand up
2. When sitting in a chair – Sit up straight and don’t lean back or lounge
3. Slow the tempo of your voice
4. Look into people’s eyes when they are speaking
5. Look into people’s eyes when you are talking
6. Show a slight head nod here and there when you understand what someone is talking about
7. Do not show emotion to harsh or unwanted comments
8. Do not show emotion to positive and wanted comments
9. Do not touch or pick your face (very common)
10. Concentrate on keeping your hands in one place to avoid fidgeting

Diarrhea of the Mouth

You may have heard this term before and I feel it fits perfectly into managing your ego. See there are times that we just like to hear ourselves speak, like we enjoy showing everyone how smart we are. The problem with this is that we usually go overboard and say too much.

The more you talk, the more you have a chance to screw things up. One of my early mentors, my uncle, conveyed this to me when I was mentoring with him for a bit. You never know when you may bring something up in passing that will offend someone.

He used this example:

Say your deal is just about wrapped up on the verbal side. You are feeling comfortable and decide to say something about how your favorite “sports” team is the best and you are looking forward to the game. Now what happens if the people on the other end of the table hate your team? You have created this unnecessary uncomfortable situation that has nothing to do with your meeting! People loose deals like this all the time and then wonder, what went wrong?

Lesson:

Keep your mouth shut! Talk about things that pertain to the business at hand and that’s it! If they want to bring something up; fine…that’s different. Remember, less is more

Summary

Your ego is an important yet at times wild characteristic trait; if you learn how to tame and harness the emotions behind it, you may just be on your way to greatness!